Inferiority: How Women Can Overcome Those Awkward Feelings

Feelings of inferiority indicate that you believe you are inadequate, unequal and unable to achieve something as a result of your opinion of yourself. The core battle of inferiority is what you believe about yourself in comparison to someone else. Please take note that at the core there is a belief that needs to shift.

Since you have already identified what you believe and the fact that the belief doesn’t add value to you, you are on your way to change. The next step is to pinpoint where your belief is coming from.

Ask yourself:

1. Who told me I was inferior because I am female?

2. Why did they believe that about females?

I think you’ll discover a list of untruths fueled by pain.

Next, take note of when you feel inferior and with whom you are with when you feel that way. Then ask yourself:

3. What is the truth about females?

4. What is the truth about me?

Every negative thought needs to be examined and challenged. When you do I’m confident you’ll see that it doesn’t have any real credibility and, therefore, isn’t deserving of your time or energy.

Copyright 2018 S. Renee Smith. S. Renee is a nationally recognized self-esteem, branding and communications expert, coach, speaker and author. She is author of the following books on self-esteem and confidence There Is More Inside: Personal Essentials to Living a Power-Packed Life and Self-Esteem for Dummies. For more information visit is www.srenee.com.

Your Persona: Will It Get You What You Want?

Politicians, lawyers, and speakers face the challenge of communicating a message that makes a memorable impression on an audience. Needing to be likable and credible, they often hire experts to show them how to speak with confidence and use body language to be more effective communicators. But they aren’t the only ones who have to sway an audience to their way of thinking. You interact with people daily. Whether it’s your spouse, child, colleague, or customer, you need them to like you and listen to you.

Many people believe that these captivating, influential qualities are out of reach for them. But the truth is that everyone has their own unique characteristics that make them shine. It doesn’t matter what your occupation is; how you present yourself heavily influences whether leadership takes notice of you, which clients hire you, and what type of person dates you.

From the moment a person lays eyes on you, a perception of your character and temperament begins to take shape. This is because before you’ve introduced yourself, your choice of clothing, the pace of your walk, the expression on your face, and your hand movements announce the type of person you are likely to be. This is your persona.

If the feedback you received indicates that you’re being misjudged, then you aren’t transmitting the message you think you are. There is accuracy in what people see. Therefore, you have to make adjustments to get your nonverbal message in alignment with the impression you want to have on others.

Gain control of your image by doing the following:

1. Get clear on who you want to be and what you want to sayThe only way to confidently walk into a room and be certain about the message you’re communicating is to be deliberate about your nonverbal communication in addition to what you want to say and how you say it.

2. Manage your emotions.  Fifty-five percent of your nonverbal message is communicated through your facial expressions. This means your thoughts, opinions, and feelings initially show up where people look first for clues about you—your face.

3. Maintain eye contact. Eye contact is the entry to connection with others. Your eyes are a big factor of your facial expression. Eye contact is a persuasive tool that helps you strongly communicate your message. You use eye contact to communicate attentiveness, agreement, and appreciation.

This is an excerpt from my book, 5 Steps to Assertiveness How to Communicate with Confidence and Get What You Want.  Click the link to order now.

Copyrights 2018 S. Renee Smith, www.srenee.com. For speaking or coaching services call 888-588-0423.

 

 

You Have to Fight With Yourself For Yourself

We’ve all had our share of disappointments, feelings of uncertainty and loneliness, and fear of change. And none of us are immune from experiencing these emotions again. But you have to decide to live life on your terms. From a higher awareness of who you are.

Yes, there is a price to pay.

Taking control and being accountable for your life requires discipline, focus, and sacrifice. At times, it means standing alone. My saving grace was a conscious decision to embrace the process, to grow through the process while holding onto my self-worth despite my hurt and disappointments. Bottom line, after realizing that I had to like myself before anyone else would like me, I learned how to fight for the person living inside my skin.

I was willing to fight for her because I got to know her. I liked her. I understood her. I began to see her value. I viewed her as a good person. There wasn’t a doubt that she wasn’t worth fighting for. Maybe you don’t like who you are right now. Let me suggest that you’re not looking at what makes you special. It’s unfortunate that many people will use every breath they take fighting for a relationship that doesn’t mean them any good, but won’t give a second thought to the unique person living inside of them. Perhaps because they don’t realize that there is such a being within them? Oh, but there is!

There’s a person of personality, character, and substance. A person that was born to make an impact. A person destined for greatness. A person that can handle every obstacle, challenge, and perceived defeat. A person who doesn’t have to emulate someone else to feel important and be accepted. A person who refuses to get attention through retaliation or by acting out someone else’s pain. Without a doubt, I know there’s a person like this lives inside of you!

Copyrights 2018 S. Renee Smith. An excerpt from my book, There Is More Inside: Personal Essentials to Living a Power-Packed Life. Now, on Kindle for .99 cents.

 

No One Has It All–Ever!

I just read designer Kate Spade, 55 was found dead in her NYC apartment from apparent suicide. As a person who has had an up-close experience with a loved one choosing to escape what is believed to be the unbearable, my thoughts and prayers are with her family and every family that has ever had to face this hardship. 

For many of us, it is disturbing to think that someone of great beauty and success failed to find–or buy whatever she wanted and needed.  We’ll ask ourselves, what was so difficult that she couldn’t come to terms with what seemed to be impossible, “She had it all.” 

But wait, before you go there you need to know this: No one has it all. What is “it all,” anyway? Perhaps, that’s the challenge we all face:  a yearning desire to find “it all” so we’ll happy forever.

This is the path to impossibility and discontentment. We all lessons that we have to learn and trials we have to go through. There’s no permanent place on earth that is happy ever after.

Prayer, mediation and practicing good will toward others is a good start on the path to happiness.  But on the journey, we all have to discover our place of contentment and peace that comes to those who are relentless in seeking it–even when it evades us.

I leave you with this poem that I wrote when our dear Christian passed. We have shared it with other families that have lost their loved ones to suicide and I share it with.

Be at peace.

Sometimes life gets lonely and filled with despair, but don’t fret; God is always there.

I made a choice  to take my flight, believing that it would lead me to the white light.

I know you will miss me, and I will miss you too, but we’re closer than you think; we are all connected through one link.

I loved you before I said good-bye, I love you still; don’t believe any other lie. Be strong, be wise, and be of good cheer; nothing has gone wrong, although it looks weird.

You taught me what I was to know. And I did the same for you on life’s stage show.

I send you my love, a hug, and a kiss; I have no more wishes because this day of freedom, peace and joy was on my list.

These are my last words to each of you: don’t mope, be depressed, or be blue. I told you from the beginning I’m alright; you taught me about God, angels and the white light.

I love you!

Poem Copyrights 2014 S. Renee Smith. Blog copyright 2018 S. Renee Smith, You can get my inspirational prayers on Amazon in my book, Our Hearts Wonder: Prayers to Heal Your Heart and Calm Your Soul.   Or via email at srenee@srenee.com.

CONFESSION OF A COACH: AN ALTERNATIVE TO GOAL SETTING

I have a confession to make. I often share this in workshops and I’m sharing it with you because I believe it will inspire you to keep moving your life forward even when you can see the goals because of the obstacles.

After trying traditional goal-setting in my early 20s and experiencing many setbacks early on, I developed an alternative to goal-setting that continues to work for me. I write down goals, affirmations, and “I am” statements that are meaningful and very much from my heart. I don’t look at them every day, week, month, or year. In fact, many of them are written down in journals between the pages of a day of gratitude and a moment of wonder.

Perhaps if I had some elaborate, well-laid-out plan, I would have “made it big” and be independently wealthy by now. The truth is this: My goal every day is to wake up with an open heart and be used by God. Interestingly, this approach has taken me to every place and created nearly every experience and “more” that I’ve scribbled down over the years as important to me.

For example, in January 1999 I wrote this: “I will write three books.” I’ve written five and two have been book deals. Here’s the truth:  I’ve worked hard, had super-sized faith, and dug deep within myself when I’ve needed to. I’ve made good and bad decisions that have taken me on detours, yet I’ve never gone down a dead-end road. I’ve worked harder at being a quality human being — a person whom I and others can trust, depend on, and believe in.

My confession isn’t to negate the value of goals setting, in fact, it confirms the power of it. What it offers is an alternative for some people who may not have the courage to write a goal according to their vision yet or the strength to look uncertainty in the eyes every day.

I offer this to you as a lifeline to give you hope — something that will get you started. All you need is an open heart and the willingness to scribble down your desires, put them in a secret place, and then quietly ask: “What do I do next?

S. Renee is a Life and Business, Branding and Communications Coach and Speaker. You can learn more at www.srenee.com or by calling 888-588-0423.