Frustrated By the Game? Here’s How to Win

Even in my unconscious, hormonal raging 13-year old body, I quickly learned the value of trusted followers. As a frustrated victim of bullying, I could see that popularity and power was a numbers game. As a new player at a new school, I wasn’t winning. I hadn’t made any friends and although extended a warm invitation to join the bully and her entourage of empty thinkers, I was neither impressed or enticed.

So the game began–although I didn’t know it. By rejecting the invite, this met I had no protection and was considered an outsider. Perhaps, if I knew the rules my decision may have been different. I was just trying to “do the right thing.”

“We were in gym class and each girl took her turn hitting me in the back of the head as she ran by. I sat quietly and watched the girls as they laughed and joked at me. Little did they know that I was looking for the weakest link. I found her. When she ran by and hit me, I got up and ran after her. I threw a few punches…thank God it didn’t last long. Before I knew it, I was in the guidance counselor’s office. No one could understand why “the good girl was fighting.” After that incident, I never had to worry about being intimidated by my classmates again.” (An excerpt from There Is More Inside)

I did exactly what I knew I should do, I became friends with everyone. I was a leader. I was consistent, respectful, and fair to everyone. I showed that I was a leader. I became the voice of reason for friends and associates who were having problems at home, with their relationship (if that is what you want to call them at 13 years old) or any situation that bothered them.

My classmates honored that. I became the gateway to a better way of thinking. In fact, two years later the student body voted me Queen and most popular, best dressed, friendliest, and most reliable! Where are you the gateway to? Find out why this is so important:

© 2012 All rights reserved. S. Renee, SRS Productions, Inc., There Is More Inside®

Why Am I Being Tested?

“I remember wondering how it got to this point. I was a student of developing and maintaining a positive self-image. I taught others how to develop and maintain theirs. What happened? I was numb. I couldn’t feel myself anymore. I was deaf to my own voice. All I could hear were the people in my personal and professional life whose actions were saying, “You’re not good enough.” I was now a student of my own teaching.” This is an excerpt from There Is More Inside

It was Spring 2000. I don’t know if I was struggling or being strangled. Regardless, I was suffering. What I now realize is that my stamina and beliefs about myself, God and the world around me were being tested.

Finding the courageous and confidence to own your space and smoothly transition from one phase of life to another is what I teach today, but first I had to be taught. Briefly, here’s the story. You can read the entire story in my first book, There Is More Inside.

I was facing two painful rejections. My former fiancé asked me to marry him and four months later walked out of my life. Then, I was fired from my job.

Prior to getting engaged, I firmly stated that we would not set a date until we went to marriage counseling. After starting our sessions, he and I had an argument about going to counseling. He told me he had been hoodwinked into going to counseling. Realizing our deep differences, I said: Well, we won’t be getting married.

In less than 30 days after that dramatic episode, I was fired from my job. I was being bullied by my supervisor—humiliated in front of my staff, described as a premadonna, and told I couldn’t write. After seeking help from the director of human resources and the university president, I was granted medical leave due to the tremendous amount of stress that they knew I was experiencing. The stress affected my health. I went to the doctor who diagnosed me as being depressed. He prescribed an antidepressant. Yes, I felt like my life was crumbling out of control, but everything about my life up to this point told me that God had prepared me for this personal and professional challenge.

© 2012 All rights reserved. S. Renee, SRS Productions, Inc., There Is More Inside®

Who Is Your John the Baptist?

I was standing toward the end of a line of over 100 people. She had just received a well deserved standing ovation. Although desired, it was impossible for me, without appearing rude, to get any closer to the rising star.

It was 2004. I was a amateur in the writing and speaking business. In fact, truth be told, I wasn’t even in the business. Like most people, I was searching for guidance. I knew what I was called to do, but I didn’t know how to do it. And, as quiet as it is kept, at times, I still don’t.

I was in Cleveland, Ohio. I was attending one of America’s major African American national conferences. All the “players” were on the platform. And, their personas didn’t disappoint. Most of us who were seated in the audience, were daydreaming about being on the platform. Thinking we had what it takes to dispense valuable information, after each session we would bombard the “kings and queens.” Believing we needed them, like groupies and street beggars we would humanize (as opposite to seeing our spiritual power) ourselves by thinking our path required us to hunt down certain people to endorse us. As I passed attendees, I could feel the anxious energy engulfing and overtaking our present state of being.

The ‘players’, however, would walk swiftly. Where were they headed? I have no idea. While on their olympic course, we, the peasants (those who hadn’t ‘made it yet’), would hurriedly and nervously pitch our idea to them. Barely looking us in the eyes, most would dig their hand in their right coat pocket, pull out a business card and say: Call me! Excited about our new connection, the truth of our encounter didn’t come until our efforts to follow up led to a dead end.

This time was different. After signing another copy of her book, she looked up and saw me at the back of the line. She looked me square in the eyes. With her index finger she petitioned me to join her at the front. Wondering if she was talking to me, I, in question, put my hand on my chest and contoured my face as to ask: Who me? Yes, she nodded. Everyone surprised, including me, I nervously walked toward her. She said, “Stand, right there.” Like a child who had been called to the office, I couldn’t feel myself breathing. I thought: What does she want with me? How does she know me? What’s going on? Questions were shooting off like fireworks on the fourth of July.

The great spiritual teacher Lisa Nichols said: She had come there to meet me. That she felt my spirit and knew we were met to connect. Since that time, she cried in the wilderness for me by endorsing my first book, There Is More Inside. She has spent hours of her time mentoring me. She has been a gift in my life. My John the Baptist. Who is yours? Find out in spiritual principle two why this is so important.

© 2012 All rights reserved. S. Renee, SRS Productions, Inc., There Is More Inside®

Why Do I Keep Failing?

Recently, I was at a business event. There were about 50 people in the room. Arriving 30 minutes late, she walked in the room. Momentarily catching everyone’s attention, I thought: Wow! sharp sister. Directing my attention back to the front of the room, there was a panel of experts answering questions about the present and future of organizational leadership and employee development.

After the event was over, I made a b-line to the front. I knew exactly who I wanted to meet. On my way, I ran into her–the sharp sister. I extend my right arm to shake her hand. I said, Hello, my name is S. Renee. With a beautiful broad smile she said, Hello, my name is …. I asked: What brings you here today? With a burst of energy she said, I provide tax services. If you’re in need of a tax advisor, I’m the one you are looking for. Excitedly, I said, oh, do you have a card? Simultaneously saying No, while looking in her purse she goes on a search for a business card she knew she didn’t have while chattering about Lord only knows–you know the type.

Not wanting to dismiss her, although she had dismissed herself by the floundering and senseless chatter, I patiently waited for her to stop hunting in her oversized purse for a non-existing business card. Giving her a way out I said: “Here, please take my card and forward me your contact information.” Taking a deep breath, I could hear her sigh of relief.

Like many of us, we still believe that we can fake it until we make it. Not so, not in the 21st century when we have lived in an age of reality talk shows and television programming. We are too smart to fool one another. Watch this video below to avoid being like this sister and discover the first spiritual step to building a personal brand.

© 2012 All rights reserved. S. Renee, SRS Productions, Inc., There Is More Inside®