How to Deal With Ungodly People in a Godly Way

Facebook has become the gateway for people all around the world to reach out for solid advice about how to face, deal with and respond to troubling situations. I’ve picked a question from a semi-pro basketball player who is currently playing overseas. He asked me this question.

The Question:

How do you handle people who are jealous of you? They call you names, including the “N” word. I’ve ignored them for a long time. I know how to deal with them in an ungodly manner, but how can I deal with them in a Godly way?

My response:

My friend, I want to acknowledge your frustration. You may even be dealing with loneliness and being homesick. You have adult bullies on your hands. Some people, like animals, will prey on others who appear to be weak and vulnerable. The purpose is to gain popularity and power by making others believe they are strong; yet their actions indicate they are insecure, weak, scare, and unsure of themselves. Even animals have a higher purpose than power and popularity for attacking their prey. I hope you’re able to see how pitiful they are.

Understand this:

They are the same cowards who came to arrest Jesus in the night when he taught during the day in the synagogues. The same scaredy-cat who kissed Jesus on the cheek, took the money, and then committed suicide versus living the penalty of his decision. The same chickens who came to get Jesus with an army equipped with swords when he was only one man.

It is important that you understand the immature mentality you’re dealing with and how out of alignment they are with themselves and the universe. For all the seeds that they plant, they will see a harvest.

Three things to consider:

1. Just as Jesus’ journey was a part of the script necessary for the fulfillment of his purpose, you too, have to get the lesson that has showed up to serve you and usher your soul into a higher level of spiritual awareness. I would bet that this isn’t the first time you’ve had to deal with a situation that requires you to stand up for yourself. Ask yourself:  What am I to learn? What is trying to emerge within me? How am I to use this new skill for my good and the good of others?

2. Decide on who you are. It’s difficult to handle situations and respond to people when you don’t know who you are, what you value and how you want to show up. There are numerous ways to handle this situation. You could fight, tell your coach, develop your own relationships and create alliances, study your enemies and make them your friends, and the list goes on.

You have to make that decision based on who you are and what your value. Today, I would pull them one by one to the side and ask:  Have I done something to upset, insult, or hurt you? I would not fight or raise my voice. My sole purpose would be to meet with them, dump their stuff off in their space and leave it there.  What they do with it,  would be up to them. I would guess that most of them will be apologetic and humble.

3. Stay positive. This is not the end of the world, although, at times, it feels like it. Find people who think like you and connect with them. God always sends someone.

God bless you as you journey.

Do you have a question about life, love, professional or spiritual development? Submit your question or leave your comment below.

Copyright 2011 All rights reserved. S. Renee For personal coaching services, please visit For speaking services visit


As a positive, focused, high-energy level four soul, I thought that the days of senseless agony and spiritual torment were long gone. But I recently experienced divine intervention and
received spiritual enlightenment concerning a personal decision that I felt needed my immediate attention. In opening my spiritual senses to a fresh idea, I have found a new way of settling my spirit and getting a much needed good night’s sleep, even in the midst of facing pivotal life-changing decisions.

This year is a transitional year for me in both the spiritual and physical worlds. As I’m about to reach the completion of four decades on this side, I have found myself facing unexpected moments of uncertainty and emotional confusion. To bring calm back into my life, as always, I performed an internal self-check. I cleared out all thoughts and evaluated my own emotional and spiritual state. Once I thought that all systems were go, I asked myself: Renee, is this decision based on a deep rooted fear or is it based on your destiny? As I quietly sat in my meditation room and waited for God to respond in a profound, revolutionary way, I didn’t hear, feel, or see ANYTHING! This was unusual I thought, and, like many of us, I attached an explanation to the silence: “Wait on the Lord and be of good courage.” I never thought that I could be hindering God from communicating a very simple message to me.

With my perceived notions and high expectations of how God works and how to make a “good decision” I continued on my journey while being sub-consciously consumed with how I should proceed in this area of my life. As days passed I could feel my body becoming tense, anxious, and an unusual, long forgotten yet identifiable energy was surrounding me. No, it wasn’t the devil. It was my own whirlwind of conflicting thoughts swirling around me.

What started out as settle uncertainty began to mushroom into a full blown state of conscious anxiety. This was not good and I knew it. So, I raised my spiritual awareness to match the moment. In that instant, God made a simple, clear statement. He said, “Only Go There If Love Takes You There.” Ah, ha! I got it! God was teaching me a new way of making decisions. It doesn’t matter where you are going, what you are doing, or what decision you need to make, this is an uncomplicated formula. If the intent in your heart isn’t in harmony with love then you are going in the wrong direction.

What I now declare— as my truth— is that a person’s soul level doesn’t determine his or her experiences. The person’s soul level only determines how quickly and effectively it can acknowledge and apply spiritual weaponry, which is God’s favor and truth to the circumstance. If the truth that I have shared about “going only where love takes you” vibrates with your spirit and you want to use this prescription for successful decisionmaking, then consider the following.
1. Ask yourself, “What am I doing (or saying) and how does it serve others?” Although many of us react to what another person says or does, I don’t believe that most people are intentionally malicious. I believe that many people who walk on the path “lack knowledge” and thereby suffer from a severe case of low self-esteem. When we don’t understand ourselves, we feel powerless. When we feel powerless we compare, complain, judge and try to manipulate others. What is in your heart? Why is it in your heart? How can you release your negative intent toward yourself and others and replace it with the light of love?

2. Ask yourself, “Do I freely offer my time, talents, and services without expectation of reimbursement?” World systems do not carry over into spiritual systems. When you do something with the anticipation of a returned favor, you may gain the favor, but miss the divine blessing from God. Check your intent. Do you spread hypocrisy by showing greater respect and care for certain people because of what they can offer you in return? Remember, Jesus did not come for those who are well; Jesus came for those who need a divine
healer. Why are you here? Who do you enthusiastically serve?

3. Ask yourself, “Am I being driven by love?” We say and do all kinds of things for all kinds of reasons. In some cases, we don’t know why we’re doing them. And in other cases, we do them for egotistical, self-gratifying reasons. Check yourself. Only go there if love takes you there!

S. Renee, The New Edge in Motivational Speaking™ is an image consultant, motivational speaker, columnist and author of There Is More Inside. For booking information visit © 2207 by S. Renee Smith All rights reserved. No part of this article may be copied or reproduced without the written permission by the author