If I Am Selling Myself as a Product, What Solution Do I Provide?

Great question–that only you can answer.

In my book, The Bridge to Your Brand Likability, Marketability and Credibility I outline the pillars of  personal branding…

1. Mission. Your mission answers the questions: What are you on earth to do?  Who needs what you have to offer? How do you what you do?

2. Message. What do you want people to know, do or have. For example, my message is There Is More Inside. All my books, programs and self-development tools lead my clients back to their authentic selves by helping them to look within for their answers. Whatever you decide is your message downsize it to 7 words or less…less is better.

3. Value. What do you have that someone else needs? How bad do they need it? What’s at risk if they don’t get it? I encourage you to make a list of your skills, talent and abilities. Chronicle your awards and achievements. Keep in mind nothing is too small that it should be overlooked. You have something significant to offer, it’s your responsibility to discover it. 

Are you stuck? Do you want to build a personal or business brand, author a book or become a better communicator or public speaker? I’d love to help.  Visit srenee.com to learn more or to book your consult.

Copyrights 2018 All rights reserved. S. Renee Smith.

 

What Should I Do When I Don’t Know What to Do?

We all have moments when we don’t know what our next step should be.  It can be an overwhelming and daunting task to figure out what path to take. There are times when you don’t know what to do because you’re not sure what you want and then there are times when you know exactly what you want, but don’t know where or how to get started.

My clients come to be because they are stuck. Either they want to identify their internal barriers to success, figure out their life purpose, land a coveted promotion or after investing thousands of dollars in their business, they still don’t know how to package, pitch and promote themselves and what they do to create buzz and generate interest in them.

Here are my quick-fix suggestions:

1.  Ask for assistance. God has given you an internal guidance system. The only reason you don’t know what to do next is because you’re in a whirlwind of energy that is not your own. Sit with yourself and ask:

  1. What will serve my highest good and that of others?
  2. Who can help me get there?

You’ll be amazed how you are led to what you need when you need it by simply asking.

2. Act on your promptings even if they frighten you. You’ll have a feeling of what you should do. You may think about a person with whom you haven’t spoken to in years, reach out to them. If they don’t have the answer or don’t respond, don’t give up you’ll find the right door if you keep knocking.

3. Invest in yourself. You have to believe in yourself enough to get the information you need to advance your life and career. Be diligent in your pursuit of your passion and happiness. Invest in yourself by hiring a coach that can help with the following or any other needs:

  1.  assess what you have and how you can package, position and promote it
  2. identify your blind spots so that you can see what other people see that may be hindering you from getting what you want
  3. help you sharpen your tools for success

Are you stuck? Do you want to build a speaking business or some other enterprise? Is authoring a book on your list? Do you have your eyes on a new promotion opportunity? Is becoming a better communicator or public speaker on your mind? I’d love to help.  Visit srenee.com for more information and to book your consult.

Copyrights 2018 All rights reserved. S. Renee Smith.

 

Does Social Media Affect Your Self-Esteem?

It’s fair to assume that each person participates on social media for different reasons and with a different level of self-awareness. For this reason, it affects people differently. If your purpose is to get “Likes” and you don’t and you internalize the poor response then, Yes, it could have a negative impact on your self-esteem.

However, if you have little attachment to likes, follows and how people respond to you then, No, it doesn’t carry enough weight to impact your self-esteem.

To gauge where you are, consider these questions:

  1. Why am I on social media?
  2. What am I expecting as a result of my posts?
  3. How do I feel when my expectations aren’t met?
  4. Do I compare myself to others?
  5. How much time do I spend thinking about what does or does not happen on social media?

Consider adding Self-Esteem for Dummies to your reading list for insights and exercises that will show you how to find and stand in your power.

Copyright 2018 S. Renee Smith.

How Can I Tell My 15-Year Old Daughter She’s an Awful Writer?

You don’t!

If you tell your daughter that she is an awful writer, she will never forget it and you could destroy her self-esteem and she will be left with being mentally and emotionally entangled with your opinion of her capacity to become a good writer.

Here’s what happened to me.

In 2000, I was fired from a job for not being able write. In 2005, I wrote my first book, There Is More Inside: Personal Essentials to Living A Power Packed Life. It has sold over 8000 copies. In 2011, I wrote and released, The Bridge to Your Brand Likability, Marketability & Credibility and 2014 Our Hearts Wonder Prayers to Heal Your Heart and Calm Your Soul. In 2014, Wiley hired me to co-write Self-Esteem for Dummies for the world’s best-selling reference brand book series and in November 2017, Callisto Media contacted me to write, 5 Steps to Assertiveness: How to Communicate with Confidence and Get What You Want (May, 2018).

My former boss apologized in 2011, which was long after I needed it. I know it made her feel good. 

Here are the lessons:

My boss had a responsibility to help me to strengthen my writing skills. Instead she disgraced me in front of my staff with her limited opinions. It took me years to overcome her issue—you have a responsibility to help your daughter grow and become the best writer she can be. Don’t degrade her, uplift her.

You never know what God has for her to do in life. Get on the winning side.

It will make you an awful mother to tell her she is an awful writer—and I know you are not an awful mother! With your help, I know she will do great things with that awfulness! 

Copyrights 2018 S. Renee Smith.

Do You Think People Are Unreasonable and Selfish?

As a coach, I’ve had the privilege to hear the perspective of hundreds of people. As a speaker, I’ve crossed paths with thousands. And my personal life is full with interactions with family and friends.

I can’t tell you the number of people I’ve coach who come to me because they believe their boss, colleague or spouse is selfish and unreasonable. I’ve even talk to women who believe that because a man will not marry them they are selfish and unreasonable. I have to confess; I’ve called some people selfish and unreasonable, too.

But why do we feel this way? Is it because they aren’t doing what we believe they should according to our needs and desires?

Consider the following:

People are complex. Countless experiences have shaped our perspective on life and the world. We don’t think our perceptions or expectations of others are unreasonable or selfish because it’s based on how we see it. When a person doesn’t do what satisfies us we label them as selfish and unreasonable, but is there a small chance that we could be selfish and unreasonable?

Identify the person’s agenda. Everyone has an agenda and they should. An agenda is simply a vision for what you want. The vision guides decisions. Make sure there is a connection point for a mutually satisfying relationship.

Recognize your power to choose. You have complete power over your life and the role that people play in it. Maybe it’s time to move them to your outer circle or completely out of your space.

Consider adding Self-Esteem for Dummies to your reading list for insights and exercises that will show you how to find and stand in your power.

Copyright 2018 S. Renee Smith. All rights reserved. 

Why Would a Person Falsely Accuse You?

Falsely accuse you? They don’t believe they are falsely accusing you. As they see it, you did it! Whatever the “it” is.

Isn’t it interesting how two people can have the same experience, yet experience it differently?

Yes, we have evidence that there are mean-spirited people in the world. However, I believe that most people mean well even though their behavior can have a malicious intent. In other words, it’s not a conscious intentional act. It’s their pain operating in and through them and in many cases they don’t even realize it.

Since we all play on both sides of the fence—being accused and being the accuser, I would encourage you to consider the following:

1. Forgive. Your hands aren’t clean either. We all have pain spots that cause us to see things that aren’t there. So forgive them with the understanding that “they know not what they do.”

2. Communicate. Go to the person with the desire to understand their point of view. It takes a courageous and confident individual to seek to understand the other person. In many cases, I think you’ll discover you both are being wrongfully accused.

3. Become an advocate. Decide to be the change in the world you are seeking. When you notice yourself about to be overtaken by a negative emotion, wake up and resist the temptation.

For tips on how to best communicate add 5 Steps to Assertiveness How to Communicate With Confidence and Get What You Want to your reading list.

What Are the Characteristics of a Self-Confident Person?

Wow! That is an interesting question. The reason is because it assumes that every person that is self-confident has the same qualities, I’m not sure we can make that assumption.

Coming from the belief that every person is unique and who they are and what they value constitutes their character, I would have reason to believe that there may be some consistent behaviors, but characteristics would be more diverse.

If you’re open to that thought, here are a few behaviors on my list:

1. Good decision makers. They don’t make decisions based on selfish motives. They have the ability to objectively examine a situation and make the choice that best serves their highest good and the highest good of others.

2. Global Thinkers. They see the world globally and the people within it with an understanding and responsibility to honor, respect and serve others who are different from them.

3. Passionate communicators. How we communicate speaks volumes of who we are, how we feel and what we believe about ourselves and others. When we learn to assertively speak our truth with compassion we create a better world.

Do you want to increase your confidence? Visit www.srenee.com and sign up to receive free audio trainings that will help you increase your confidence, build your brand and become an effective communicator.

Copyright 2018 S. Renee Smith. All rights reserved.

How to Deal With a Loved Ones’ Addiction–When You’re Frustrated

Addiction is difficult for everyone, including the person who is suffering. In short, as hard as it is to witness someone you love self-destruct and create so much pain for those around them, try to embrace these truths:
 
1. They are suffering. I’m not an expert in addiction, but I believe addiction, in simple terms, is seeking an external solution for an internal need.
 
2. You’ll never be able to fix it for them. It’s their soul’s journey, not yours. Give the person the space to help themselves. The healing work needed is between them & God.
 
3. You have to Believe. They’ll get there, wherever there is for them. But, you can offer prayerful support without expecting it to look the way you want it to. It will become what it needs to be for them.
 
Copyrights 2018 S. Renee Smith. All rights reserved.

As an introvert, how do I improve my communication skills?

If I understand your question, you are asking how can you improve your ability to connect and communication with people despite being shy? This being the case, I see this more as a challenge of how to step out of your shyness and being self-conscious about who you are in order to become more comfortable with yourself and others.

I was very shy growing up. This can make you feel lonely and invisible. If you are like me, by the nature of being shy, I was uncomfortable speaking and therefore, would become very nervous when I was around others and felt pressure when I was asked to speak. This caused me to stumble over my words.

I was able to overcome this challenge to ultimately become a successful speaker by doing the following:

  1. Recognize your equality to all people. It can be difficult to step out of your shyness with any limiting beliefs about yourself and your ability to successfully communicate your thoughts.
  2. Don’t compare yourself to others. When you look at others and compare yourself to them and how they communicate, it creates an artificial expectation of what you should be capable of doing.
  3. Practice sharing your opinion. A great start to breaking through the silence is to share what you’re thinking. To build your confidence and communication skills, take calculated risks by sharing with people you know genuinely like you and will celebrate your efforts.

Consider adding 5 Steps to Assertiveness How to Communicate with Confidence and Get What You Want to your reading list.

Copyright © 2018 S. Renee Smith.

How to Overcome Feelings of Inferiority

The first step to overcoming any challenge in your life, specifically your feelings of inferiority, is to acknowledge the challenge.

Growing up I had my own internal questions and body sensations that made me feel uneasy as I mentally battled within myself about my worthiness to be in the presence of certain people. I even experienced anxiety to go certain places knowing how I would feel when I got there.

In my book, There Is More Inside Personal Essentials to Living a Power-Packed Life I confessed, “I had my work cut out for me! I liked it when people told me how great I was—how talented, intelligent, and attractive I was. It gave me an external confidence, but inside I still didn’t own this belief myself. I would sabotage great opportunities and blame others when I ‘failed’. Deep within I doubted my abilities and, like most, questioned my existence.”

After doing my work and developing tools to help people to do their‘s, I offer you these starter questions:

  1. Together let’s agree that feeling inferior means that you believe the other person (or people) is more attractive, smarter, richer, or whatever you have told yourself and, therefore they have an advantage over you. Now ask yourself, what do you believe the other person (people) has that you don’t?
  2. Examine where that belief comes from. You believe what you believe based on what you’ve been told, accepted as true and what you have experienced. But is it true? When you don’t examine and challenge your beliefs they can hinder you from moving forward. Ask yourself, what do I believe about myself and others that is causing me to feel this way? And, why do I believe it?                                                                           
  3. Change your story. Now that you have discovered a new truth—own that truth. Change the story you tell yourself about yourself. When you give yourself the gift of a new narrative and different perspective, you’ll create new thoughts, feelings and ideas about yourself and others.

Copyright © 2018 S. Renee Smith.