Corral Your Emotions to Avoid Conflict During Heated Conversations

Whenever I get upset, my husband says, “Just Breathe.” Here’s why.

Emotions are feelings in motion. Your emotions are influenced by how what’s happening in the moment impacts your comfort zone. Emotions can bring the brawny to tears and the gentle to screams. Although often judged because they can ignite fear and uncertainty about what a person will do, emotions aren’t right or wrong or good or bad. They are simply an invisible force that accurately interprets our internal belief in a situation in the present moment.

The challenge with emotions is that they can be deceptive, and because they come and go quickly, their long-term accuracy is debatable. You can’t always predict what will show up or when it will show up. Even people who have learned to contain their emotions have moments when a trigger is activated, an unexpected spontaneous outburst is released, and a cloud of anger engulfs a room. But emotions can also ignite a fire and flood a room with passion and love.

So why is it necessary to corral your emotions? Because most often they are temporary and can become the source of conflict and chaos when two or more people experience the same situation differently. An inability to harness your emotions can signal immaturity or even unprofessionalism.

1. Understand that fear has taken over the conversation. It doesn’t make sense to be scared when you go inside a haunted house at a carnival, because you know the characters aren’t real and will not harm you. Yet you’re still frightened. That’s the same twisted mind-set that people have when a conversation begins to take a downward turn. You know the conversation has gotten out of control and the person is irrational, but you still ght to have a rational conversation.

2. Focus on the bigger picture. The ultimate and most important goal of a conversation is a quality relationship. Don’t get sidetracked, even if the other person does.

3. Practice the power of silence. Stay in the receiving mode. Let the other person speak their mind without feedback. When you know what a person is thinking and feeling, you possess power.

This is an excerpt from my book, 5 Steps to Assertiveness How to Communicate with Confidence and Get What You Want.  Click the link to order now.

Copyrights 2018 S. Renee Smith, For speaking or coaching services call 888-588-0423.


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