As a coach, I’ve had the privilege to hear the perspective of hundreds of people. As a speaker, I’ve crossed paths with thousands. And my personal life is full with interactions with family and friends.

I can’t tell you the number of people I’ve coach who come to me because they believe their boss, colleague or spouse is selfish and unreasonable. I’ve even talk to women who believe that because a man will not marry them they are selfish and unreasonable. I have to confess; I’ve called some people selfish and unreasonable, too.

But why do we feel this way? Is it because they aren’t doing what we believe they should according to our needs and desires?

Consider the following:

People are complex. Countless experiences have shaped our perspective on life and the world. We don’t think our perceptions or expectations of others are unreasonable or selfish because it’s based on how we see it. When a person doesn’t do what satisfies us we label them as selfish and unreasonable, but is there a small chance that we could be selfish and unreasonable?

Identify the person’s agenda. Everyone has an agenda and they should. An agenda is simply a vision for what you want. The vision guides decisions. Make sure there is a connection point for a mutually satisfying relationship.

Recognize your power to choose. You have complete power over your life and the role that people play in it. Maybe it’s time to move them to your outer circle or completely out of your space.

Consider adding Self-Esteem for Dummies to your reading list for insights and exercises that will show you how to find and stand in your power.

Copyright 2018 S. Renee Smith. All rights reserved.