What Are the Characteristics of a Self-Confident Person?

Wow! That is an interesting question. The reason is because it assumes that every person that is self-confident has the same qualities, I’m not sure we can make that assumption.

Coming from the belief that every person is unique and who they are and what they value constitutes their character, I would have reason to believe that there may be some consistent behaviors, but characteristics would be more diverse.

If you’re open to that thought, here are a few behaviors on my list:

1. Good decision makers. They don’t make decisions based on selfish motives. They have the ability to objectively examine a situation and make the choice that best serves their highest good and the highest good of others.

2. Global Thinkers. They see the world globally and the people within it with an understanding and responsibility to honor, respect and serve others who are different from them.

3. Passionate communicators. How we communicate speaks volumes of who we are, how we feel and what we believe about ourselves and others. When we learn to assertively speak our truth with compassion we create a better world.

Do you want to increase your confidence? Visit www.srenee.com and sign up to receive free audio trainings that will help you increase your confidence, build your brand and become an effective communicator.

Copyright 2018 S. Renee Smith. All rights reserved.

How to Deal With a Loved Ones’ Addiction–When You’re Frustrated

Addiction is difficult for everyone, including the person who is suffering. In short, as hard as it is to witness someone you love self-destruct and create so much pain for those around them, try to embrace these truths:
 
1. They are suffering. I’m not an expert in addiction, but I believe addiction, in simple terms, is seeking an external solution for an internal need.
 
2. You’ll never be able to fix it for them. It’s their soul’s journey, not yours. Give the person the space to help themselves. The healing work needed is between them & God.
 
3. You have to Believe. They’ll get there, wherever there is for them. But, you can offer prayerful support without expecting it to look the way you want it to. It will become what it needs to be for them.
 
Copyrights 2018 S. Renee Smith. All rights reserved.

As an introvert, how do I improve my communication skills?

If I understand your question, you are asking how can you improve your ability to connect and communication with people despite being shy? This being the case, I see this more as a challenge of how to step out of your shyness and being self-conscious about who you are in order to become more comfortable with yourself and others.

I was very shy growing up. This can make you feel lonely and invisible. If you are like me, by the nature of being shy, I was uncomfortable speaking and therefore, would become very nervous when I was around others and felt pressure when I was asked to speak. This caused me to stumble over my words.

I was able to overcome this challenge to ultimately become a successful speaker by doing the following:

  1. Recognize your equality to all people. It can be difficult to step out of your shyness with any limiting beliefs about yourself and your ability to successfully communicate your thoughts.
  2. Don’t compare yourself to others. When you look at others and compare yourself to them and how they communicate, it creates an artificial expectation of what you should be capable of doing.
  3. Practice sharing your opinion. A great start to breaking through the silence is to share what you’re thinking. To build your confidence and communication skills, take calculated risks by sharing with people you know genuinely like you and will celebrate your efforts.

Consider adding 5 Steps to Assertiveness How to Communicate with Confidence and Get What You Want to your reading list.

Copyright © 2018 S. Renee Smith.

How to Overcome Feelings of Inferiority

The first step to overcoming any challenge in your life, specifically your feelings of inferiority, is to acknowledge the challenge.

Growing up I had my own internal questions and body sensations that made me feel uneasy as I mentally battled within myself about my worthiness to be in the presence of certain people. I even experienced anxiety to go certain places knowing how I would feel when I got there.

In my book, There Is More Inside Personal Essentials to Living a Power-Packed Life I confessed, “I had my work cut out for me! I liked it when people told me how great I was—how talented, intelligent, and attractive I was. It gave me an external confidence, but inside I still didn’t own this belief myself. I would sabotage great opportunities and blame others when I ‘failed’. Deep within I doubted my abilities and, like most, questioned my existence.”

After doing my work and developing tools to help people to do their‘s, I offer you these starter questions:

  1. Together let’s agree that feeling inferior means that you believe the other person (or people) is more attractive, smarter, richer, or whatever you have told yourself and, therefore they have an advantage over you. Now ask yourself, what do you believe the other person (people) has that you don’t?
  2. Examine where that belief comes from. You believe what you believe based on what you’ve been told, accepted as true and what you have experienced. But is it true? When you don’t examine and challenge your beliefs they can hinder you from moving forward. Ask yourself, what do I believe about myself and others that is causing me to feel this way? And, why do I believe it?                                                                           
  3. Change your story. Now that you have discovered a new truth—own that truth. Change the story you tell yourself about yourself. When you give yourself the gift of a new narrative and different perspective, you’ll create new thoughts, feelings and ideas about yourself and others.

Copyright © 2018 S. Renee Smith.

 

 

How to Keep Conversation Going With a Guy

You don’t. Conversation is communication and communication is a sincere desire to engage with another person or people for the purpose of exchanging thoughts, beliefs and ideas.

If one person has to carry the weight and pressure of the conversation then it’s not a conversation at all. It’s an experience that causes you to feel the weight and worry of saying the right thing in order to keep the person engaged. That’s not conversation or communication, it’s fighting to be liked, accepted and needed.

Currently, I am married to a fabulous communicator. But when I was dating, there were men who just weren’t engaged. I could tell by how they interacted with me and communicated. In other words, I sensed they had other things and people that were more important and served as priorities.

As the author of the upcoming book, 5 Steps to Assertiveness : How to Communicate with Confidence and Get What You Want (Callisto Media, May 22, 2018), my best advice is to relax, enjoy listening and asking questions. If they engage back with you by asking you questions, you may have meet yourself an interesting friend.

Copyright © 2018 S. Renee Smith.

Can You Be Too Confident?

Living in a society that claims the lack of confidence is bad and encourages one to believe in themselves, but then accuses them of being arrogant or self-absorbed when they do, makes it difficult to know how much confidence is too much.

In my first book, There Is More Inside: Personal Essentials to Living Power-Packed Life I define confidence as “trusting your opinion of yourself more than you trust other people’s opinion about you.” Using this definition calls us to ask the question: can we trust our opinion of ourselves more than we trust other people’s opinion about us far too much?

I don’t believe so.

Getting to the point of fully trusting yourself is a lifelong journey. Yet, as we travel that path people will say things like “he thinks he’s all that” or “she thinks she thinks she’s cute.”
The reality of this assertion is the person making it thinks she thinks she thinks she’s cute. Did you get that? 🙂

Based on the definition shared above, that person’s opinion shouldn’t be in the equation so keep growing and trusting yourself, you’ll be glad you did.

Not Out of Obligation, But Appreciation

I want to quickly share a conversation that I hope will inspire you this Christmas Day.

A friend invited me to her home to celebrate Christmas Eve with her family. My heart wanted to be there, but

I wasn’t sure my tired body would sustain my heart’s desire. I told her that I planned to be there. She said, “I understand your work schedule, you don’t have to come out of obligation.” I said, “I wouldn’t come out of obligation, I would come out of appreciation. You love and support me, sis. I want to come and support you.”

Over the course of our 15-year friendship, I’ve seen many pieces of her life. I’ve met most of her family, but I hadn’t seen them all together. It was a joy to watch the personalities, relationship dynamics, and the spirit of Christmas gleam from her four children, four grandchildren, one in-law, former husband and family friend (who is due to deliver her second child any day) and her daughter.

I had an incredible time eating, laughing, and exchanging hopes, fears, dreams, and stories of God’s miraculous moves in our lives.

The spirit of Christmas reminds us of the appreciation and adoration of the incredible gift of life that changed the course of the universe. Jesus didn’t come out of obligation, he came out of appreciation for who we are and what we can become.

My prayer is that every moment you spend celebrating with those closest to you will be felt with the same level of love, freedom, and elevated awareness that Jesus bought to the plant.

There Is More Inside, YOU!

God Bless you, I love you, Merry Christmas!

Join the innercircle of self-esteem and branding expert S. Renee at www.srenee.com