Tag Archives: personal growth

WHY SOME PEOPLE’S MISTAKES DON’T MATTER: Overcome Your Flaws By Communicating, Connecting and Committing

Personal Development, Professional Development, , , ,

We all have flaws. Some more forgiving than others; regardless, they are flaws. However, why is it that two people can make the same mistake, yet suffer a different consequence?

While each may experience a backlash, one will have an active group of supporters that will come to their rescue compassionately justifying their actions. They’ll call on the community for backing while the other person will lose their career and life–as they know it. So why are the consequences so different? Politics, you say? What would you say if I told you that I believe that a person’s likability factor is at the core of their ability to escape condemnation?

Studies show that there is a connection between the level of punishment people believe you deserve and how likable you are. The New York Times article To Be Sued Less, Doctors Should Consider Talking to Their Patients More is just one example of how communication and connection increase your likability factor.

So how can you increase your likability factor?

Communicate: Don’t you enjoy a conversation about you or a topic that is important to you? Of course, you do. That’s why you join specific communities. You want to connect with people who will talk about subjects that are close to your heart.

And we all appreciate words of affirmation or encouragement. They remind us that we have a purpose, we’re making a difference, and someone sees us. Open up and have conversations with people, even the tough ones. As SHRM is leading the charge to ignite conversations that will change the workplace, we all must start with having a conversation with ourselves about ourselves. Consider my new book, Harness the POWER of Personal Branding and Executive Presence: Elevate Your Life and Career Now to start an internal dialogue.

Connect: This is why I’ve decided to partner with SHRM–because their message is courageous and bold–we have to connect with each other to create better workplaces and world. But, what does connect mean? I believe to sincerely want to know, understand, and like another human being. When we know and like ourselves, that charge is more desirable and easier to achieve.

Commit: We need one another to reach unimaginable levels of success. Being open to helping others reach their potential will undoubtedly help you reach yours–that’s what I know for sure.

If you enjoyed this article share it with others. Thank you!

S. Renee, the author of Harness the POWER of Personal Branding and Executive Presence: Elevate Your Life and Career Now, is a nationally recognized self-esteem, branding, and communications speaker, talent development trainer, and certified professional coach. Book her for your next event by calling 888-588-0423 or visit www.srenee.com.

THE CHARACTER OF YOUR BRAND

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Each person forms the character of their brand. Hopefully, the character is formed with boundaries of integrity, truth, passion, purpose, respect, and trustworthiness. You’re the core of your brand and your moral and ethical character is the core of you. Traveling everywhere with you, your character exposes you for who you really are. If you are weak in your character, lay low and develop your character before overexposing yourself to the public. Otherwise, you could be setting yourself up to be embarrassed.

Save this in your memory bank:  Integrity provides the guideline for your interactions with yourself and others. Be honest and transparent as much as humanly possible. Everyone has secrets, including me. Most aren’t necessary to share with anyone, so don’t. Moving forward, keep in mind that yielding to pleasurable wrongdoing ranks far beneath your potential and sits very high in negatively impacting your brand.

Integrity can also serve you as a barometer of how you are doing. Do you overcommit and underperform? Do you miss deadlines, appointments, and goals? Do you say you’re going to do one thing, but do another? These are factors that crash our brand.

Truth is relative and always changing, therefore, it can be difficult to communicate our truth. To build a solid brand you have to establish your truth. It’s a great part of the brand message that people buy into. You don’t have to be dogmatic with your truth. Flexibility gives you room to grow and evolve and even change your truth as you come to know it. But, it’s not going to fly with people if you are saying the sky is blue today and red tomorrow.  People will make room to accept you as a growing and ever-evolving learner, but they will abandon you quickly when they figure out that you are clueless.

Passion is a persuasive emotion. It’s not always logical, sequential, or rational. This doesn’t mean that it moves us out of alignment, either. Undoubtedly, it can and often does serve as a driving force for unexplainable behaviors. Passion is one of life’s most desirous emotions because it’s an insatiable and consuming feeling. But watch out—because it can easily be confused with temporary false emotions that prompt us to start projects we don’t or can’t finish. This is a blemish on our brand. As I stated in Chapter 3, I believe that most passions are birthed out of pain. Unquestionably, when we are free from our pain it is gratifying to see others free from theirs.

Nothing brings more meaning to life than a purpose for living it. When we have a worthy goal in life it can become our passion. Passion is the strong emotional motive moving the behavior. Purpose is the ambition, intention, and aim that form the focus that directs the behaviors.

Respect for your calling protects the purpose. When opportunities come that put the purpose or brand at risk, respect thinks of losing, damaging, or harming itself and the people who have embraced the brand. Respect understands its role to build and not break. Freedom of speech allows for loud-mouthed, disparaging, and even foul and sexually perverted brands to slip through the cracks. Some are even paid lots of money to lead people toward hate, violence, and selfishness. You have to decide what kind of legacy you want to leave for others to build upon. Remember, those closest to you are the ones most impacted.

Every brand structure starts with building trustworthiness. This is the credibility dynamic that I talked about in Chapter 4. People have to feel safe with you. They have to believe that you know what you are talking about. They have to believe that you believe what you believe.

People are looking for answers to questions they ponder, agonize over, and worry about daily. Situations that rock them at their core, disturb their family’s well-being, and deprive them of stabilizing peace.

This is an excerpt taken from The Bridge to Your Brand Likability, Marketability, Credibility. Copyright 2011 All rights reserved.

WHEN NEXT DOESN’T SHOW UP, THEN WHAT?

Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development, , , ,

Under a tight deadline to complete some writing, with my manuscript and Apple laptop in hand, I arrived at 11:50 a.m. for a scheduled 12-noon lunch meeting with a vice president of marketing. We were meeting so that I could thank him for his decision to provide corporate funding for a fundraising event I chaired.

Engrossed in the writing, I was startled twenty or so minutes later when I heard a voice from the other side of the table say, “You didn’t think I was going to show, did you?” While standing up to embrace him, I began explaining my deadline requirements for The Bridge. Our conversation continued pleasantly, when in a matter of minutes a surprising, but welcomed statement poured out of the heart and mouth of the 50-plus, successful white male.

“I could never write a book,” he whispered. I was stunned at his unexpected transparency. But I instinctively knew and understood that this was a moment for us to connect on a deeper and richer level. Compassionately, I offered, “Even though it doesn’t look or sound like it today, I thought the same thing when I was writing my first book, There Is More Inside. In fact, in the first chapter I share my insecurities with the reader about how I didn’t think anyone would buy or read it.” My identification with his self-doubt must have created more safety. The muscles relaxed on his face, and he disclosed, “That’s exactly how I feel. What do I have to say that people would want to know?”

Having listened well to his earlier ponderings, I reminded him of a statement he had made about how he hadn’t realized how much he knew until the opportunity for him to teach showed up. Appreciating my reminder of his success, he took in a deep breath and readily nodded in agreement. The coach in me, however, wasn’t through. I continued to probe. “So, what would you write about?” He confessed he didn’t know. “What are you passionate about?” I inquired. His eyes rolled upwards to indicate thought. But again he answered, “I don’t know.”

The confused expression on my face must have prompted him to continue talking, and had I known the magnitude of what he was about to share, I would have tape-recorded the entire dialogue. From my mental notes and a few scribbles that I jotted down that day, I have recounted to the best of my ability this man’s profound awareness and insight. Listen to his heart.

“I’ve always known where I was going to next. I entered the job market and it was a natural progression. Next was just there. I would plan for my next logical step for advancement and professional growth. It’s laid out for you, an automatic sequence. But, what if there wasn’t a next? That’s when you realize, you left everything that you love and deeply desire on the sidelines for—next.  And, one day next doesn’t show up.”

We sat silently for a moment to ponder this undisputed truth together. Do most people take the well-traveled road laid out for them within organizational structures and systems? Do they wait for calamity to come before they ever seek their divine path of passion and personal self-fulfillment? When they find it, do they have the courage to cross The Bridge to get there?

©2011 All rights reserved. The Bridge to Your Brand Likeability, Marketability, Credibility will be available in paperback beginning August 15, 2011. Pre-order your copy today.